It was once said that there are only two types of people in the world; The Irish, and those that wish they were. We can’t exactly argue – the Irish are so good at celebrating their patron saint that March 17 is now recognised and enjoyed worldwide by anyone wishing Irish blood ran through their veins. Flags are waved, green suits are worn and beer flows quicker than the River Shannon.
Here are 9 new gadgets you’ll need to become Irish this St. Paddy’s Day.
Dazzle your friends and family by speaking to them in Irish! Download a language app like Duolingo and you’ll be fluent ‘ag caint as Gaeilge’ before you know it. Learn how to order a Guinness in the local tongue – “Pionta Guinness, le do thoil” and shout “sláinte” when you clink glasses. The Irish bartenders at the pub will be seriously impressed; you might even score a Guinness on the house.
To be truly Irish, you’ll have to brush up on your river dancing. Grab yourself some wireless headphones so you can tap away in total freedom! Airpods might set you back a little, but it will totally be worth it when you jump up on stage at your local Céilí Mór Irish festival and channel your inner Lord of the Dance Michael Flatly.
In order to really look the part, you’ll need to throw on an old Irish geansaí and proudly tell everyone that you’re part Irish! If you’re geansaí is buried deeper than a YouTube black hole, print your own! Whilst 3D printers used to exist only in the land of science fiction, growing technology has allowed these ground-breaking gadgets to become available to anyone for a relatively low cost. Get your own online, print off your geansaí and you’ll be Irish in no time.
Bel-Air Domestic Spacecraft
Couldn’t get a gean saí in time? Anything green is your next best bet. The first St. Patrick’s Day revellers believed that wearing green made them invisible to the sneaky little leprechauns, and so the tradition goes that anyone not wearing green can get pinched (ow!). Avoid the nasty surprise by wearing as much green as humanely possible. Take it one step further and add some green to your home or workspace too; the Bel-Air “Domestic Spacecraft” is a live plant that absorbs toxic compounds in the polluted air, purifying your living space with a touch of green. Your Irish ancestry will be glad you’re helping the planet for the future generations of cailíní agus buachaillí (girls and boys) to come.
It wouldn’t be a true St. Paddy’s Day without sinking a few pints of Guinness in the name of St. Patrick. Of course, you could just go down to the pub and ask for a Pionta Guinness, but buying beer is so last year. Brew your own! The BeerDroid connects to your smartphone so you can keep control of your brew with the touch of a button.
The Irish legend has it that kissing the Blarney Stone gives the gift of eloquence, but in the 21st century kissing your phone might have similar effects. While apps that teach you to kiss are in the hundreds and are down-right gross, scientists have gone a step further by creating a robot that allows couples to kiss each other from opposite sides of the world. Creepy? Totally. I’d rather kiss a stone!
Bodice and Cabbage, Tripe and Drisheen, Mash
ed Poppies, Guinness Stew….. the list of Irish dishes are endless. Unfortunately, your patience in the kitchen is not! If you really want people to believe you’re Irish, you’ll have to whip up some traditional food to prove it. Luckily, Pantelligent understands that you are below average in the kitchen and designed a pan that actually does the work for you. Like the BeerDroid, it uses an app to connect your smartphone to your pan so you’ll never have to worry about overcooked tripe again!
Bottle opener phone case
Add a hint of the homeland to your coffee. If you’re not living in Ireland and have to work on the seventeenth, embrace your inner leprechaun and add a little whiskey to your morning coffee. The buzz will keep you going till 5pm when you can knock off and really hit the beers. In fact, if you can’t wait for a freshly poured Guinness, open up a beer in the office discreetly with your smartphone case! Some clever cookie has created a case with a built in bottle opener slide, so you never have to be without a beer on St. Patrick’s Day. After all, that would be very un-Irish of you.
The Irish sure love their music, and many popular musicians hail from the land of green. Sinéad O'Connor, U2, The Script, Niall from One Direction….. the list goes on. Even English singers like Ed Sheeran jump on the Irish bandwagon, with the famous redhead releasing his new tune ‘Galway Girl’ in early March of 2017 – just in time for St. Paddy’s Day. Get your jam on with Ed using SMULE, an app that lets you belt out tunes alongside your favourite artists, and you too could be meeting Irish girls on Grafton Street.
Finally, in order to truly acknowledge your Irish heritage, real or not, make sure you let everyone know why you’re all drinking copious amounts of beer in the name of a saint. It all comes back to the Catholic tradition of restricting certain foods and drink during Lent, the weeks leading up to Easter. As March 17 always falls in this period, the Catholics decided to allow themselves a day off from their fast to celebrate their patron saint properly – thus, excessive drinking became linked with the day.